THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO CANNOT REMEMBER THEIR LINKEDIN PASSWORD NOW EXCEEDS THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO COULDN'T PICK THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OUT OF A POLICE LINE-UP.

20 -- Approximate per cent of the United States electorate who claim to believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim.

0 -- Number of people named Barack Obama who are President of the United States who believe so.

3 -- Number of times the issue of people either believing or not in Obama's supposed Muslimness has been mentioned so far in this post.

0 -- Number of times the United States Constitution mentions religion, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, or race as a qualification necessary to hold the Office of President.

7 -- Number of days in the week on a conventional Gregorian calendar.

6 -- Number of days in the week on a Gregorian calendar that has a big rip in it.

899 -- Number of people who, in a Freudian slip last month, said "Ehud Barak" when they meant to say "Barack Obama."

100 -- Per cent of assertions in the above-referenced factoid pulled from thin air, but presented, nonetheless, authoritatively in an effort to bamboozle a gullible readership hungering for mishegos.

6 billion -- Ditto.

47 -- Approximate number of imitations and parodies of the Harper's Index in the print media.

Again -- Totally made up.

67 -- Approximate per cent of people for whom Twitter is a primary source of news and information who think that "Freudian Slip" is an article of clothing.

76 -- Approximate per cent who think that mishegos is something edible.

82 -- Per cent of those who think that mishegos is something edible who also think that it tastes good.

Hey! Is he making fun of us?

Lots -- Number of sands in an hourglass counted during the days of our lives as the world turns.

24,902 -- Number in miles of dental floss required to wrap around the Earth once.

24,902 -- Circumference of the Earth expressed in miles.

1 -- Circumference of the Earth expressed in units of dental floss provided that 1 DF: 24,902 miles.

A zillion -- Number of "points" needed to redeem for a free trip to Yonkers.

Always -- Number of times the "points" will expire before the free trip can be taken.

Ultra-Long -- Time it would take to reach the edge of the Universe in a spaceship traveling at the speed of light.

Not-Quite-as-Long -- Time it would take in a spaceship that had really good magazines and movies on board.

2 -- Number of zuzim for which, in days of old, a goat could be had.

Had Gadya.