It's So Haimishe on the Moon

"Where are you from?"

                 

                           "The Sea of Tranquility."


"Really? Which exit?"


                           "Ha! Ha!  Very funny!"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYn1OKcVOI
                                           

TEXT MESSAGES OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE

SALVE, CLAUDIUS:  U GET MY TXT???

SALVE, HECTOR.  WUZ ASCENDIT? 

STUCK IN SENATE ALL POST MERIDIAN.  CAESAR DRONED ON AD NAUSEAM: “VENI, VIDI, VINCI,” MILKING THE APPLAUSE.

FELT LIKE THROWING UP (ERGO “AD NAUSEAM”) .

OMGS! CICERO FUNDITUS GHOSTWROTE THE “VENI” SPEECH. SCIUNT.

VERITAS DAT. NOW “C” IS CAMPAIGNING IN JUDEA WITH IT.

RIDERE OUT LOUD!!!!!

WHO’D BELIEVE THIS STERCORE? :/

I, CLAUDIUS.  I’D BELIEVE IT.

IN ROMA ALIQUID EST POSSIBILE.

A LIQUID EST POSSIBLE!!? WTF DOES THAT MEAN!????

NON A LIQUID, TU IDIOTA! ALIQUID!

OH.

GOTTA GO. C. U.

QUO VADIS?

HIPPODROME.  CHARIOT RACE.

HEY! ME II! IBID! WHERE YOU SITTING?

OP. SIT.

???????

JUST KIDDING.  HA HA!

OK. MAYBE ILL C. U. THERE.

SICK! C.U.

U MEAN [SIC]?

NO, SIK [SIC]?

SICK, SIK, [SIC]!

J

HEY. I’M TXTING U A PIC OF THE BIG C RITE NOW.

I CANT OPEN IT.

U HAVE TO HOLD DOWN THE  VIII KEY THE MMXIII AND THE IX KEY AT THE SAME TIME.

TECHNOLOGY SUCKS.

WHO IS YOUR SERVICE PROVIDER?

SPQR MOBILIUS.  STILL NOT GETTING THE PIC.

???  O THATS Y.  I WAS TRYING TO TXT YOU FROM THE CATACOMBS. NO RECEPTION DOWN THERE. I JUST MOVED OVER TO THE SUNDIAL BY THE FOUNTAIN OF THE FORNICATING BARBARIANS.  OK. I HAVE A GOOD SIGNAL NOW. I’M RE-SENDING THE PIC. SO YOU SHOULD HAVE II PICS. DID U GET?

??? I’LL CHECK LATER. STOP TXTING PICS TO ME NOW. TEMPUS FUGIT. GOTTA GO.

 L QUI YOU GOIN’ WITH?

DUDE!  DON’T END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION!

WHO YOU GOI’N WITH, ASINE?

HA HA! STULTE!

SO, WHO YOU GOI’N WITH?

TRIMALCHIO, ET AL.

UBI TRIMALCHIO IBI PANEM ET CIRCENSES!

VERBUM!

VERITAS? TRIMALCHIO IS SO JUVENILE!

U MEAN JUVENAL?

HA! HA! RIDERE OUT LOUD! I MEAN PETRONIOUS!

HA! WELL, IGNOSCAS, SI  SERIUS VENIO. GOTTA GO.

OK. YOU HANGIN’ AT THE COLOSIUM TAVERN POST RACE?

??? QUE SERA, SERA

U GOT THAT EMENDO! THE FUTURE’S NOT OURS TO SEE.

OK, POSTEA VIDEBO VOS. SEE YA!

OK. VALE! AMICUS. AND REMEMBER, WHEN U R AT THE STADIUM…

QUOD?

SI TIBI PLACUERIT FACERE, FAC VOCEM ANSERIS.

QUOD!!!!?

HONK IF YOU LIKE HONKING.

OH.