Of Course Time Travel Is Possible, But You're Allowed Only One Carry-On (Plus One Personal Item), And Your Checked Luggage Could Very Well End Up in 1975. We Hope You Like Courduroy!

Close your eyes for a moment and read the following phrase: You're cheating.  You're clearly cheating.  Do you take us for a fool?  We can see that your eyes are open.  You have some nerve. 

When your eyes were closed, did you go to some happy place, such as used to exist in the past before the past became the future and they ran out of area codes and ring tones? Were you suddenly transported back in time to halcyon days, or days of old, or days of yore, or pioneer days, or days of yesteryear, or "flex" days?  Was anybody bowling?

We only ask because we have noticed that in the famous Paleolithic cave paintings at Lascaux in southwestern France, no one seems to be bowling. Why is this? Perhaps because when those paintings were made, it was still the past and nostalgia had not yet been invented. There are, of course, other much  more plausible explanations, but this is the only one that we can think of, because we are somewhat limited.

Who are we, anyway?

Here's another thing we've noticed about those Paleolithic cave paintings at Lascaux:  No one seems to be drunk dialing their girlfriend from the tenth grade. No bowling.  No drunk dialing.  A pattern begins to emerge.

We take you now to ancient Egypt circa a long time ago. As the ancient Egyptians (who, as it happens, were accomplished bowlers -- average score 275) couldn't get a decent cell signal, did they have to resort to drunk hieroglyphics?  Embarrassing, because in drunk hieroglyphics,  you have to be reminded of your indiscretion for thousands of years after the impulse has long since faded. That's one thing that makes us think the past is not all it's cracked up to be.  Given half a chance, we could think of others.

Anyway, some people think there is no such thing as the past, or even of the future; there is only "now." This makes us feel sorry for "& then," but for "here and,"  not so much.

If there is such a thing as "the past," and it could be visited, how would we choose which part to visit? If we could go back in time and erase just one thing, what would we erase?

For us, that's easy.  It would the the night we drunk hieroglyphiced our girlfriend while bowling. Multi-tasking was never our strong suit. 

Besides, time travel just isn't as much fun as it once was.

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Visit:
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