Shaggy Dog Parshah

         Shortly after the Beginning, Adam looked bored, so G-d fashioned the first woman to be a “help mate,” almost simultaneously giving birth to the first dilemma, namely: One word? Two words? Or hyphenated? Not only that, but, the sign on the outskirts that read “Welcome to Eden, the ‘Garden City,’ Population [One]” now seemed quaint and outdated.


        “Egads,” thought Adam. “Already I’m having problems. Maybe I should have remained a bump on a log until the fire ants came and crawled up my leg.”


         “Be careful what you wish for,” said G-d.

          Thereafter, having bought a bill of goods from a purveyor of snake oil (WHAT? She couldn’t resist a sale!), Eve ate an Etrog and then re-gifted it, hoping the bitten part would remain unnoticed. Not surprisingly, in the ensuing scandal known as Forbidden Fruitgate, it didn’t take long for the world’s first man to throw the world’s first woman under the bus.


           G-d, disappointed with Adam’s abdication of responsibility, offered an instructive parable, to wit: “Y’know, Adam, there are two kinds of people in this world.”
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NOTES

[1] VFW Parkway to Rte. 1. Left at the lights.

[2] Call Mr. Finkle

[3] Idea for script: $%#@! Nostradamus Says

[4] Mama’s little baby loves shortnin’ bre ~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~
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