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 Unit 3, Lesson  7 -- American Idioms

Read the following passage aloud, and try to identify the words or phrases that may have more than one meaning in the English Language.

At the Butcher

     On Friday morning, Mrs. Rasmallah Goldfarb walks to her neighborhood halal butcher.  Her butcher's name is Osama Hussein William Sonoma.  She greets him, "Good morning, Mr. Sonoma. Have you any fresh meat today?"

     The butcher responds, "Top of the morning to you, Mrs. Goldfarb.  We have some fine, fresh mutton."

      Mrs. Goldfarb responds, "Are you sure it is halal, Mr. Sonoma?  The last mutton you sold me was walking, talking, and quacking suspiciously like a duck."

     The butcher answers her, "Why of course, Mrs. Goldfarb.  It's as halal as the day is long." Just then, Mrs. Goldfarb's best friend, Shirley Abdul-Jabbar, walks into the butcher shop. Luckily, she is not  seriously injured. Mrs. Goldfarb greets her friend.

     "Why Shirley,  you haven't been around here for a month of Fridays! How's Irving and the kids?"

     Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar answers her friend, " Same old, same old.  How's by you?  Isn't that old rascal of a husband of yours, Mohamed, skiing this weekend?"

     "Oh, you know Mohamed," replies Mrs. Goldfarb. "He can never get in any skiing because he refuses to go to the mountains."

     "Well, then," replies Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar, "we must simply bring the mountains..."  but the butcher, Mr. Sonoma, interrupts her.

     "Ladies, ladies, please!  The kibbitzing corner is in the back.  You can come here to meet but then you should buy some. I have good customers lining up behind you, and you're schmoozing about mountains? Now serving number 6!"

     Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar replies, "I am so sorry, Mr. Sonoma. Irving and I are going on the hajj next week, and I'm excited to catch up with my friend,  because I won't see her for a while.  I'll take 4 mutton chops, if you please."

     "Very well, Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar," replies the butcher.  "Here, while you wait, try some rugelach my wife, Basheera, made."  He hands her a plate of the cookies, and both Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar and  Mrs. Goldfarb help themselves.

     Mrs. Goldfarb says, "Not to be picky, Mr. Sonoma, but the rugelach is a little dry."

     Mr. Sonoma replies, "Now you're a judge of rugelach? You? a shiksa?"  He begins to wrap the mutton chops for Shirley Abdul-Jabbar.  She stops him by wagging her finger in his general direction.

     "Osama Hussein William Sonoma!  You and I both know that cut of meat is too small and a shanda fur die goyim. I can't make a decent curry or Shahi mutton Biriyani with the likes of that!  Now please do give me a good cut, or I'll be out of here in a Shiite minute!"

     Osama Hussein William Sonoma replies, "Alhamdulillah, Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar, I shall do my best."

     Rasmallah Goldfarb, with her mouth still full of food, says, "Mr. Sonoma,  I feel great remorse.  Now I see that I judged the rugelach too hastily.  The first one was indeed dry.  But the second, third, fourth, and fifth ones were all excellent --  flaky on the outside and moist on the inside. Please thank Mrs. Sonoma."

      "As-Salāmu `Alaykum, Mrs. Goldfarb," replies the butcher. "Hows' about some nice schwarma for Morry and the kiddies?"

     "Thank you, Mr. Sonoma.  I'm sure they'd plotz," answers Rasmallah Goldfarb. Then the butcher finishes wrapping the orders for the two women.  As they leave, they say "thank you" and "goodbye" to Mr. Sonoma. He answers them.

     "Have a good Hajj, Shirley. Zei gezunt!  As for you, Mrs. Goldfarb, I shall see you next week at the usual time?

     "In šāʾ Allāh," responds Mrs. Goldfarb. 

Questions for Review

     1.     In the above passage, why does Mrs. Goldfarb say "have you any fresh meat? " instead of  "Do you have any fresh meat?"  Is she putting on airs?  Why or why not?

     2.     When Osama Hussein William Sonoma says, "It's as halal as the day is long," do you think he is being derivative? Was he correct to use a contraction here?

     3.     Do you get the sense that Mrs. Abdul-Jabbar has cut in line? Is this rude, or is she allowed to jump in front of others and join her friend at the front? Would your answer be different if she had an unusually large order and couldn't make up her mind?

     4.     Is it believable that the rugelach is flaky on the outside and moist on the inside, or is Rasmallah jiving?
   
     5.     Instead of saying "goodbye" to the butcher, should the women say "à bientôt?"  Or would this just make him roll his eyes impatiently, as butchers are wont to do?

Vocabulary Builder

mutton
weekend
wagging
flaky

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Next Week's Lesson:  "A Visit to the ER with a Mild Case of Botulism."