CURRICULUM VITAE
Objective: To pass judgment on the fiscal habits of others while failing to follow my own advice.
Education: I'll say! Everything I need to know, I learned when I saw how S&P profited handsomely from its spectacular miscalculations about Enron, Bear Sterns, Lehman Brothers, and the whole subprime mortgage market debacle.
Experience: You mean with tanking credit? Let me put it to you this way: I've been around the block a few times.
Skills: Very, very good with a shredder.
Awards: The Kenneth Lay Shredder Award (runner up).
References: You wouldn't get them; they've very obscure -- randomly Yiddishkeit, you might say.
Hobbies: Gaming the system; systematically playing games with other peoples' livelihoods; sending anonymous "Tweets" to arbitrage traders in the middle of the night (but always with my shirt on); eating "fancy foods" and doing what I choose! (Gut Shabbos, Kathie Lee Gifford!)
Fetishes: Having a recurring bizarre fantasy that economic policy affecting the well-being of over 6 billion people shouldn't be the provenance of an incompetent corporation that has the chutzpah to show its face after making a 2 Trillion Dollar mistake.
Availability: Call me. If it goes right to voicemail, I'm on the other line with Moody's (or maybe Fitch's).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and speaking of incompetent morons, tell the U.N. to stop the massacre in Syria.
No comments:
Post a Comment