HIYLH Concedes Election Early Before Polls Even Open, in Fact.

If people can vote before the polls open, then we're going to one-up them! We hereby concede defeat. Right now.  Before the little hand is on the 12 and the big hand is on the 12.1 in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire (where at least the postmaster still knows how to tell time with an old-fashioned clock).

We'd like to congratulate whoever wins. Or whomever.  Or whomsoever. Or, if none of those are grammatically correct, then we'd just like to congratulate the "winner."

To our worthy opponent:  You know all those untoward things we said about you during the Campaign? We didn't hardly mean some of them.

To the 300 million or so of you who failed and refused to endorse our candidacy, or even buy one of our bumper stickers for $19.99 (plus shipping and handling*) you were right all along!

We admit it.

The People have spoken. Or, the People have spoke. Or, if neither of those is grammatically correct, then we understand that the People have told us to go screw ourselves.

This is their right.  This is what makes our democracy the envy of the world.

We respect the results, even though they are in a sealed envelope whose contents are known only to a couple of accountants at Price Waterhouse Coopers.

Even the Oscar Committee doesn't know who the winner is.

Now that the Campaign is over, let us all work together as One and try to dispose of these unused bumper stickers on Craigslist. We owe this much to our country, to our posterity, to our sacred honor, and to the printer whose monthly invoices are now colored pink with ominous red stamps all over them.

Remember:  Together we can't do any worse.


*Does anybody else think this sounds just a tad obscene?