Posts
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Brothers:
At our last meeting, we voted to use some our discretionary
funds to purchase a gift for our departing president, Sam Levinson, to
demonstrate our appreciation for everything he did for the Brotherhood. We will
present the gift during next week’s annual awards breakfast. The 3 biggest vote
getters for a gift for Sam were: (1) cheese plate; (2) cat tray; (3) butter
warmer. I will be purchasing the gift
on-line.
Please make your final
vote today because I have to get the purchase in by 4:30 p.m. in order to make
the delivery deadline.
Thx,
Fast Eddie.
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
What the hell is a butter warmer?
Bernie
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
You don’t know what a butter warmer is? Where were you raised? In a barn? It’s a butter dish that has
battery-powered coils in the bottom to keep the butter nice and soft for toast et al.
Fast Eddie
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
My wife got me a butter warmer once. One time, I
accidentally left it on all day and when I came home there was melted butter
all over my desk and a handkerchief and on the floor. It damn near ruined a Mont Blanc pen.
I wished I never
heard of a butter warmer.
Regards,
Harry
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Who keeps a butter warmer on their desk!? That’s just insane!
Do you keep your briefcase in the refrigerator?
Rick
-----------------------------------------------------
FROM: Murray@candocando123.net
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
I vote for the cat plate!
(Can-do) Murray
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
It’s not a cat PLATE.
It’s a cat TRAY. The PLATE is the
cheese.
Fast Eddie.
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
What does that mean?
The PLATE is the cheese? You mean
the plate is made out of cheese? That doesn’t sound very sanitary.
Bernie
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com;; rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Gentlemen:
Can you please stop using my work email address for this
stuff? It’s cluttering up my inbox. Plus, I’m only supposed to use this account
for official government business and these messages are monitored. Please use: Jeremy@greatgrand-fatherwasEquipoise.com.
Thanks,
Jeremy
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Why does Jeremy even get a vote?
It’s not like he ever comes to any of the meetings.
Bernie
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Brothers:
I forgot to mention that because of a little disagreement I
had with the distributor during the last Brotherhood event, I cannot use the real name of the organization or our actual credit account (which has been
black-marked in the industry) to make the purchase.
We are persona non
grata everywhere it seems.
I will need one of you guys to create a fake name and
account to get the gift.
The Brotherhood will reimburse you.
Fast Eddie.
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
You need someone to go undercover to purchase a cheese
plate?
Rick
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com;; rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Gentlemen:
I hate to resurrect a sore subject, but I really do think we
need a proper accounting of the so-called “discretionary” funds. Why is it that we always seem to be in the
Red and having to rely on handouts from the Sisterhood who, let’s be frank, run
a very tight fiscal ship.
It’s no wonder they’re always whispering about our
management.
I believe before we proceed with this purchase, there should
be a very thorough examination of the books by a neutral, well schooled in the preparation
of audited financial statements.
Thanks,
Jeremy
-----------------------------------------------------
FROM: Murray@candocando123.net
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
OK, OK!
I vote for the cat tray!
(Can-do) Murray
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
I vote for the butter warmer.
Bernie
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
What I want to know is, why did my suggestion of a
decorative beer stein get nixed? I went
to a flea market with Sam and Trudy Levinson once, and Sam just couldn’t take
his eyes off the beer steins. It’s all
he talked about for days afterwards.
If Trudy hadn’t threatened to hit him on the head with a
beer stein, I think Sam would have emptied out his bank account and bought up
every beer stein in the joint.
It just seems like sometimes some people ride roughshod over
other people’s votes in this organization.
I vote for the decorative beer stein.
Regards,
Harry
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com;; rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Gentlemen:
I forgot to say that I’m not sure our charter authorizes the
use of funds in this way. I read
“discretionary” to mean advancing the overall goals of the organization, and I
just am not seeing it here.
Couldn’t the funds be
put to better use – say a group class in financial responsibility?
Thanks,
Jeremy
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Ok, everybody.
I created a temporary account for the purchase.
User name = Guys
Password = DOLLS
Rick
-----------------------------------------------------
FROM: Joey@candocando.com
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Is the password really all upper case, like that? It seems too short. Can’t you throw in some numbers so that we
don’t get hacked?
How about DOLLS1?
Best,
Joey
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Joey:
Are you serious? You
think someone is going to try to hack our account for a cat tray?
Get real.
Rick
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com;; rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Gentlemen:
I propose that we table all further voting until we have
convened a public reading of the rules.
I am uncomfortable with the way this seems to be progressing. It has the distinct feel of something being
rammed down our throats.
“Something is rotten in the state of Sweden.”
Jeremy
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Jeremy:
That’s “Denmark,” not “Sweden,” you pompous windbag.
Rick
-----------------------------------------------------
FROM: Murray@candocando123.net
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Is it possible to switch my vote?
I’m starting to warm to the butter warmer (no pun intended).
(Can-do) Murray
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Brothers:
I just looked at the distributor’s website, and while we’ve
been futzing around with this, the price of the cat plate jumped 14%.
It’s time to poop or get off the pot.
Fast Eddie.
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Murray@candocando123.net Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Hey guys. I’m just
reading these emails.
Why are we getting a gift for Sam Levinson?
Didn’t we all agree that after his tenure, the state of the
Brotherhood was in the worst shape it’s ever been in? And, anyway, was the investigation into the
whole petty cash controversy ever concluded?
Was nobody else troubled by the fact that rare, decorative
beer steins just started showing up in Sam’s house, and he never had a
rational explanation for it?
And whenever I asked him: "Hey Sam, where'd you get all the decorative beer steins?" there was always this embarrassed silence. Like he wanted you to change the subject real fast.
And whenever I asked him: "Hey Sam, where'd you get all the decorative beer steins?" there was always this embarrassed silence. Like he wanted you to change the subject real fast.
You guys never want to acknowledge the dark undercurrent in
these associations. Wake up!
Phil
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com;; rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Gentlemen:
I second that.
Jeremy
-----------------------------------------------------
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Murray@candocando123.net
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
Brothers:
Well, I guess the gift is off.
I just heard from Sam Levinson who says he will not be at
the annual breakfast or any other Brotherhood event again.
He is moving out west to try his hand in the flea market
trade.
He wishes you all good health and Godspeed.
I guess we’ll just transfer the discretionary fund to the
rainy day fund.
See you all at the breakfast!
Fast Eddie.
-----------------------------------------------------
FROM: Murray@candocando123.net
TO: Bernie@thenameispaulrevere.com;
Phil@andheresaguythatsays.biz;;
harry@theweathersclear.com; Joey@candocando.com; Jeremy@thisguysaysthehorsecando.gov;
rick@ifhesayathehorsecando.edu;
Subject: Brotherhood Gift for Sam Levinson
I think I’ll just purchase the butter warmer for myself.
Rick, what was the password, again?
(Can-do) Murray
-----------------------------------------------------
haha!
ReplyDelete