Posts
1.
What does FAQ stand for?
Answer
Search us. Why do you ask? Hopefully it will never come up.
2.
When people say “at the end of the day,” as in: “At
the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what the government does,” do they mean 5:00
pm, 11:00 pm, midnight, or what?
Answer
What?
3.
How ya doin?
Answer
Alright.
How ya doin?
4.
You gonna finish that?
Answer
No, you can have it. It wasn’t very good.
5.
How do you know that your dreams aren’t your real
life and what you think is your conscious state isn’t really just a dream?
Answer
What?
6.
How come every stupid scandal that comes along has to
be nicknamed with the suffix “gate,” as in “fencegate”?
Answer
There was a fence scandal? Where were we?
7.
When a movie critic uses the phrase “fun for the
whole family,” what is the real message?
Answer
Avoid this insufferable piece of fluff
like the plague.
8.
Where are you if you are standing at Latitude:[40.749830598227],
Longitude:[-73.987841281506]?
Answer
Bloomingdales. But if you cheat a little
to the left, you’ll be at the food court.
9.
Has anybody ever really been thrown under the bus?
Answer
Once.
In a movie. That was fun for the
whole family.
10.
Is time-lapse photography just for lazy people?
Answer
No.
Not everybody has the time to sit around all day and watch flower petals
open up. But some people do.
11.
If the queen shows up at your door unexpectedly, what do you
offer her to eat?
Answer
Chitlins.
She can’t get enough of them.
Always have some on standby.
12.
Wouldn’t it be faster to drive all the way to the bank?
Answer
You mean instead of laughing? No. It’s like a parking
lot out there. Nothing’s moving in all
directions. You might as well laugh.
13.
Is it illegal to “oprima
numero dos” if you don’t really speak Spanish?
Answer
Yes.
Highly illegal.
14.
Who? or Whom?
Answer
That’s a question?
15.
Have you had about enough of this?
Answer
I’ll say.
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