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IN THE COURT OF PUBIC OPINION
MIDDLE-EASTERN DIVISION
Civil Action Number 11-02-01-SHS
____________________________________________
THE PEOPLE
Plaintiff,
v.
THE STABLISHED ORDER
Defendant.
___________________________________________
VERIFIED COMPLAINT AND JURY DEMAND
Parties
1. The Plaintiff, the People, a/k/a the "Body Politic" (hereinafter, the "People"), can be found wherever fine products are sold.
2. The defendant, the Stablished Order (hereinafter, "SO?"), is, upon information and belief, always throwing cold water on things, although, it means well.
Jurisdiction and Venue
3. This Court has subject matter jurisdiction over this matter, as it does every matter.
4. Insofar as venue is concerned, ditto.
Factual Statement
5. On or about the date in question, the People were on the pavement, thinkin' about the government.
6. Suddenly, and without warning (hence "suddenly"), SO?, disguised as a man in a trench coat, badge out, laid off, said he got a bad cough and wanted to get it paid off.
7. The people said, "This shall not stand."
8. SO?, aforesaid, said, "Sad, sad, sad. This is all very sad."
Statement of Claims
Count I
(Breach of Confidence)
9. The People restate, re-allege, and incorporate herein by reference all previous paragraphs of this Verified Complaint.
10. The People are restless and have no confidence in anything anymore, except for the Weather Channel, whose predictions have been spot on as of late.
11. SO? knew, or shouldda known that this would happen.
12. As a result thereof, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Count II
(Confidence Game)
13. The People restate, re-allege, and incorporate herein by reference all previous paragraphs of this Verified Complaint, except for the one that says "ditto."
14. Ditto.
15. SO? what ('ll it be)?
16. What will be.
17. Que sera, sera.
18. All in violation of 18 U.S.C sec. 11; 23 U.C.L.A. 42, and 5 U.C.I.T.O.L.D.U.S.O. 22.
19. As a result thereof, those who fail to learn from history will have to take it again next year.
PRAYERS FOR RELIEF
WHEREFORE, the People pray that this Honorable Court grant the following relief:
(a) Enter one or more orders against the defendant and its fellow-travelers enjoining and restraining them all from business as usual until further Order of the Court;
(b) Enter one or more orders against the defendant mandating that the seltzer available from sympathizers and on-lookers alike, as well as that sprayed from fire hoses, be only of the finest quality and grade (but not light, sweet crude!), and not flavored with fake chemical lemon crap (that so ruins the experience);
(c) Enter judgment for the People and against the defendant (we prefer small denominations in unmarked bills, please, and none that have some schmendrick's locker combination written on the corner in blue ink);
(d) Enter such other further relief as this Court, in its infinite wisdom and grandiosity, deems equitable and just.
JURY DEMAND
The People demand a trial by jury on all counts so triable. On all other counts, please text your decision to 1-800-Idol-4 (a small charge of $3.57/minute will apply).
THE PEOPLE,
By their Attorneys,
Mandelbaum, O'Reilly & O'Bama, LLP
123 Whatarewefightingfor Lane
Noseyville, Noseyland
VERIFICATION
We, the People, in order to form a more perfect union, promote the general welfare, and provide for the common defense, do hereby declare that all that is, is, and all that is not, is not, and this Complaint makes about as much sense as anything else we've seen.
Signed under pain of having to sit through an entire performance of "Riverdance" if we're not telling it like it is.
_________________ The People
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