It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Latkes

Hanukkah (Hebrew: חֲנֻכָּה‎), also known as the Festival of Latkes, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the invention of potato latkes in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE. (The Jews invented latkes, too!? Is there nothing that they didn't invent!?)

Hanukkah is observed for eight nights (the days being pretty low-key), starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, and may occur from late November to late December on other types of calendars, such as ones that have pictures of kittens and flowers and swimsuit models on them.

The festival is observed by eating plenty of latkes (even when you are sick of them but you never get sick of them) with applesauce and sour cream and twirling dreidles and lighting candles and giving and getting chocalate gelt and eating more latkes.

Some people think that Hannukah is the Jewish Christmas. And they're right! It's exactly the same as Christmas (except for the latkes). Other than that -- no difference.

There was a disagreement between two rabbinical schools of thought—Hillel and the House of Shammai—on the proper number of latkes to stuff in your mouth at one time. Shammai said that eight latkes should be eaten one-by-one, whereas Hillel argued in favor of stuffing them all in at once. Jewish law adopted the position of Hillel.

This is why a common Hannukah greeting is: "Don't mess with Texas. And while you're at it, don't mess with Hillel. You gonna finish all those latkes, or what?"