Your Itinerary

THANKS FOR CHOOSING AIR HEAD

Thanks for choosing Air Head. Attached is the booking confirmation for your trip. Please review the confirmation carefully as it includes some important information about flying with us. Although you do not need this document to check in, failure to have it on your person may cause it to be on some other person.


Treat yourself to a seat!
Starting at just $180 more, you can actually get a seat on your flight instead of standing up the whole way and hanging on to a greasy strap! (Recommended for flights of 5 hours' duration or more)

Click here to get a seat ------> (:( OK, Not here. Here -------------> (:)

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(We're just foolin' witchuh)

Are you on an FAA Watch List?

Would you like to be?

To find out more, Call 1-800-ImOnaWatchList

REZ/Itinerary

Seth Salinger
Newton, MA 02461

Confirmation Code: BARFBAG
Date Booked: 31 Jul 09
Modified: 31 Jul 09
Booked By: Julio-down-by-the-schoolyard

Welcome Aboard Amigo!

DATE -- 16 Sep 09
FLIGHT 474
DEPART BOS (Logan) 7:46:46 A.M.
STOP 1 WORCESTER 7: 58 A.M. (Do not get off the plane! a short film will be screened)
DEPART WORCESTER 7:59 A.M.
STOP 2 SPRINGFIELD 8:14 A.M.
DEPART SPRINGFIELD 8:33 A.M.
(A short breakfast will be served. It's about 2 inches tall).
STOP 3 HARTFORD 8:40 A.M.
(2 hour 30 min. layover. Watch CNN or something. It's turned up really loud all over the airport. You can't get away from it--even in the bathroom--it makes you want to shoot yourself. And how about how much the bookstore sucks? Who reads this chazerai? Well, at least there's the magazines. Wow! Are those boobs real!? Hmmm. A thumb exerciser. I've always wanted to get one of those. "Yes, I'll take thumb exerciser and some Sucrettes...$33.45!? Are you insane!? What? Yes, I want a bag! 33 bucks for this North Korean piece of shit? -- You think you could spare a bag? That's the only size bag you have? I could fit a Sherman tank in there! I'm supposed to carry my thumb exerciser inside this thing? It's the size of a parachute! Now they're going to make me check my thumb exerciser." Oh, Thank God! They're calling your flight --------------------------------- Hurry up. (keep panting) Hurry up. (keep panting) Hurry up! (keep panting) It's Gate 29 and you're only at Gate 6.------- What's that, God? No I would not like to have a heart attack right now, thank you very much. Not a good time. How 'bout a rain check? Pheww, Made it. Gate 29 -- What? False alarm? 25 more minutes? What am I supposed to do for 25 minutes? Yeah, yeah, I know, go back to Orange Julius and have some more sugar.
DEPART HARTFORD 10:70 A.M. (Maybe Orange Julius will mail you your Thumb Exerciser).
10: 89 A.M. (Emergency Landing: Merritt Parkway, Exit 40, Norwalk)
25 minute break for interview on WSLX 91.9 FM, New Canaan
DEPART MERRITT PARKWAY 11:30-ish
ARRIVE NYC LGA 11:40-ish

NYC Travel Tip
Grab a bagel

(Don't forget to pay for it)

DO YOU NEED A RENTAL CAR?
Do you need a leaky pen?
Do you need a massage?
Do you need some tacks?
How about some gum? Do you need some? Here. Have some gum.
Do you need a Q-Tip?
Do you have change for a dollar?

Money Off Hotel Stays!
Get $30* off your hotel stay by underpaying by $30. It's fun and illegal!
Use Code RIKERSISLAND and Book by August 30 for travel between August 30 and August 30, 2009. Not much of a window is it? Click here for the heck of it.

Promo Code is valid only for an illegal discount of $30 off a new hotel-only booking of at least three (3) consecutive nights, at unsuspecting hotels. Promo Code is only valid for bookings made through Air Head. Promo Code cannot be applied to existing travel, the cost of cancellation or change penalties, prepaid reservations, administrative fees or other miscellaneous charges. Promo Code cannot be applied to anything, actually. Promo Code is not redeemable for cash, and may not be combined or used in conjunction with other special offers. Promo Code must be referred to in the third person. Promo Code is very temperamental. Promo Code is a pain in the ass.

Carry-on Baggage Rules:
Customers may now carry through security checkpoints travel-size Thumb Exercisers that fit comfortably in a satchel of pure gold 1.8 cubits from its base to its highest point and 3 cubits from side to side to side, faced with wood shaved from the cedars of Lebanon, ivory from Ethiopia, and sprinkled all about with Jimmeys.

DOMESTIC TRAVEL:
Air Head offers two types of fares: Nonrefundable and Nonrefundable. For Air Head Nonrefundable Fares, changes or cancellations can be made prior to scheduled departure for a fee of $500 per person.


ADVICE TO INTERNATIONAL PASSENGERS:
Countries with McDonalds are rarely bombed.


NOTICE OF OVERBOOKING OF FLIGHTS
We do this intentionally. It's nothing personal. But you should see your face at the ticket counter! It's a scream, which is also what you'll do when we break the news to you. Oh take a Nitroglycerin and chill out. You have your Orange Julius don't you? If the flight is overbooked, no one will be denied a seat until airline personnel first ask for volunteers willing to give up their reservation in exchange for some trinket. If there are not enough volunteers, Air Head will deny boarding to all passengers and we can just sit here and think about our behavior.