No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

BLUE CROSS AND BLUE SHIELD OF MASSACHUSETTS

"It's a Cover-up From Head to Toes"


August 12, 2009

Mr. Seth Salinger
Newton, Massachusetts


Re: Claim Number HHxx-0099-8123-09


Dear Mr. Salinger:

The appeal of the denial of your claim for reimbursement for "pastrami therapy" has been denied. While we have no doubt that ingestion of familiar and nostalgia-inducing meals -- so-called "comfort food," may, indeed cause you to experience significant stress reduction "commensurate with taking three beta blockers and a Dilaudid," as you have suggested, nevertheless, we find no medical or scientific support anywhere in the literature or even a reputable study indicating that a regular diet of a hot pastrami on rye (no cheese) with a kosher dill washed down with a Dr. Brown's Cherry soda is a legitimate treatment for anything, or that it is ever medically necessary.

Similarly, your appeal from the denial of coverage for "medical halvah" has been rejected, "the permutation throughout of medicinal sesame and natural opiates" notwithstanding. Please be advised that the decision is final.

In the future, please remember to discuss all such therapies with your primary care physician and to obtain a referral in advance to someone in our extensive network.

Should you have any questions about this decision, you may call our office between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. weekdays.



Very truly yours,

Barry Blanc Pain