Corrections

An article on page 1 of the main news section yesterday headlined "Editors Strive to Reduce Reporting Errors" referred incorrectly to the department tasked with vetting news stories; it is the Department of Oversight, not the Bureau of Under Blind.

A caption under a photograph on page 1 of the Style Section accompanying the story headlined "Beth Johanson's Award-Winning Roses" misidentified the person who is the subject of the photograph; it is Beth Johanson, not Mr. Wally Peepers.

The lead story in Section B-1, the Sports section, incorrectly referred to The Olde Towne Team's victory against their Big Apple arch-rival in last night's best of three series. In fact, the Olde Towne Team was pummeled 14-1 and the manager has been fired.

Due to a proofreading error, an article in the Metro Section about the annual Dog Show repeatedly omitted the last syllable of the name of the breed of the all-around champion: it is Shitsu.

Thousands of letters to the editor highly critical of this newspaper's political bias were accidentally incinerated in a loading dock accident. We regret the error and are printing big black splotches in the places where the letters were to have appeared.

Problems with a hearing aid and a courtroom microphone resulted in an inaccurate report about Myles Standish's plea in his trial for defrauding investors of approximately 5 billion dollars over the last ten years. The plea was "not guilty." The same article also reported incorrectly that, if convicted, Standish would be "drawn and quartered and his remnants scattered throughout the streets by stout men riding in donkey carts." The Legislature abolished that form of punishment in this jurisdiction in 1643.

The breakdown of a collective bargaining agreement between this newspaper and the copy editor's union caused most of the articles in yesterday's Late Edition to run on too long, to be plagued with dangling participles, split infinitives and awkward gerunds and non sequiturs and also generally overwrought metaphors.

A' malfunction in the type-setting software caused the name of this newspaper to appear on the front page as THE NEW YORK TIMES. The name of this newspaper is, of course, THE PODUNK PRESS.