WHEN DOGS ARE IN CHARGE

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18th Annual Dog Convention
Boston Common

"Be at that, or be a cat"

AGENDA

5:30 a.m. Location: Park Street T Entrance -- Opening rebarks by Top Dog, Bo Obama (Live from Washington via barking chain)

5:33 a.m. --  Location: Corner of Tremont and Arlington Streets by the Arlington T Entrance --

Snooze time.

6:00 a.m. -- Location: Throughout the Common --

Mayhem and rough-housing. (Separate mayhem group for medium to small dogs will meet at the Frog Pond).

6:30 a.m. -- Location: Beacon Hill Across from the State House by the Civil War Statue --

 Call to Order.

(Ha, Ha. That is a joke)

6:31 a.m. -- Location: Throughout the Common --

More Rough-housing and mayhem!

6:45 a.m. -- Location: Corner of Beacon and Charles Streets (near the inexplicably ugly statue of exhausted soldiers on emaciated horses) --

  BREAKFAST!

6:47 a.m. --

Barking at the the inexplicably ugly statue of exhausted soldiers on emaciated horses. 

6:53 a.m. --

Seriatim peeing on the inexplicably ugly statue of exhausted soldiers on emaciated horses

7:06 a.m. -- Location: Baseball diamond (Charles Street Side) --

 Sniffing free-for-all. (Separate sniffing-free-for-all for small to medium dogs by the hot dog stand).

Get it? The hot DOG stand!

8:03 a.m. -- We gather momentarily at the Charles Street entrance across from the Public Garden and split into caucus groups.

    A.    Caucus A will run into the road stopping traffic, continuing into the Public Garden, sprinting over the bridge spanning the Swan Boat lagoon and regrouping at the statute of George Washington for seriatim sniffing and peeing. (We'll pose for group photos and barking).

    B.   Caucus B will run alongside the Duck Tours trolley barking incessantly at the tourists who will be quaking back at them.

    C.   Caucus C will prance to the Make Way for Ducklings statue for seriatim sniffing and peeing and putting of front paws on,  and barking at, ducks.

    D.  Caucus D will run around in circles aimlessly and then, without warning, take a nap.

    E.    Caucus E. will whimper on the sidelines and then lie down.

And then get up.

And then lie down.

And then get up.

And then turn around in a circle a whole bunch of times.

And then lie down.

    F.  Caucus F. will chase pigeons near the Park Street T entrance and then join Caucus E and lie down.

9: 45 a.m. --  All locations -- SNACKS!

10: a.m. -- All locations -- Snoozing

10:46 a.m. All locations -- Snoozing with one eye open.

10: 47 a.m. All locations -- Snoozing on back with paws up in the air

10:49 a.m. -- All locations -- Woofing in sleep while dreaming of rabbits and cats.

10: 52 a.m. -- All locations -- Stretching (downward dog).

10: 56 a.m.-- All locations -- begging for snacks.

10:59. a.m. -- All locations -- SNACKS!

Panel Discussions -- 11:00 a.m. to 11:13 a.m.

Location: Public Garden (by the Swan Boats) --

"Are Prairie Dogs Giving Us a Bad Name?" (Hound, Huckelberry, panel chair)

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Location: Public Garden (near the rose beds and the sign that says "Keep Off the Grass.  No Dogs." --

"Is Dino from the Flinstones Supposed to be a Dog or a Dinosaur or Both?" (Guest panelist -- Astro from "The Jetsons.")

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Location: The Common (near the 17th Century Burial Ground)

"Is 'dog-earred' a derogatory term?"
(Dog, Wonder and Yeller, Old -- co-chairs)

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11: 14 a.m. -- Crazy time (all locations)

12:00 p.m. --

Location: Corner of Beacon and Charles Streets (near the inexplicably ugly statue of exhausted soldiers on emaciated horses) --

LUNCH!

12:14 p.m.  Mini Workshops

"Getting Away with Humping"

Location: The Common (near the bandshell)

Barkley (Sesame Street) (workshop leader)

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"Think Before Knocking Over the Garbage -- Can the Cat be Blamed?"



Location: The Common (near the corner of Charles and Beacon Streets)

Night, Three Dog (workshop leader)

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"Become Indispensable and Get Taken on Every Trip"


Location: The Public Garden (near the Frederick Law Olmstead statue)

Charlie, Travels with (workshop leader)

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1:00 p.m. -- All locations

SNACK!

1:03 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.-- All locations --

Napping.

4:00 P.M. -- The Cow path --

Frisbee time.

5:32: p.m. -- Location: Tremont Street side (across the street from the movie theater)

 Presentation of the Bone for Lifetime Achievement in a leading canine role. Presented to:  Beethoven (the dog, not the composer).

5:43 p.m. -- All Locations --

Random inspection of the tree trunks.

6:02 P.M. -- Location:  Park Street Side (across from the Boston BarK Association headquarters)

Closing Rebarks

by Scuppers (the Dog Who Belonged to Himself)

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Don't forget to steal some kittle swag on the way home!

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Honk if You Like Honking Salutes the great dogs (including those who were themselves vicitms) who have performed heroic rescues amid the recent devastaion in Haiti and all over the world:

http://www.pawesome.net/2010/01/dogs-rescue-earthquake-victims-in-haiti.html

http://news.discovery.com/animals/search-and-rescue-dogs-from-around-the-world-go-to-haiti.html

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2010/01/haiti_rescue_dogs.html