PAST IS PROLOGUE -- AND VICE VERSA

Your Past Lives Diagnosis from PastLivesAreUs.Org:

 Your profile indicates that in your last earthly incarnation, you were a nearsighted French printer responsible for producing the official documents at the Treaty of Versailles in 1919 and distributing them to the diplomats negotiating the end of World War I. Because of a faulty gear in your printing press, coupled with your vision impairment, the phrase: "Germany is to be offered generous terms" became "Germany is to be offered onerous terms" in the treaty that was finally signed and enforced.

Prior to this time, according to your profile, you were an itinerant rogue cartographer, wit, and raconteur slumming around Genoa, Italy in or about the year 1492. Through sheer happenstance (that is to say, happenstance that you can practically see through), you wormed your way into the inner circle of an explorer named Cristoforo Colombo.

Columbo was adamant that the most practical route to India was overland, but you talked him out of it by showing him one of your maps drawn hastily while on the run from a jealous husband in Naples. You coined the phrase: "Go West, middle-aged man."

 Enraged by your reckless insouciance in matters cartographic (especially because Columbo was playing with the house's money), the Spanish Crown launched the Inquisition, whereupon you coined the phrase "¡Ay, caramba!"

At one point during your incorporeal sojourn, you were an adviser to the priests at the Aztec Templo Mayor in Tenochtitlan, Mexico in the 1390s. The priests at that time practiced a ritual gentle back rub on the supplicants to please the gods. However, your incessant hiccuping-laden speech was mistaken for advocating a slightly more dramatic ceremony of human sacrifice wherein the heart of the live worshiper was cut from his body and placed still beating in a bowl on the alter, a practice soon standardized by the religious elite thanks to your "advocacy."

Your next most recent earthly incarnation was as a slave stone carver of monument inscriptions in the Roman Empire. Due to your apparent inability to follow instructions, you invented ALL CAPS.

Finally, it appears you may have been a talking snake in a Near Eastern garden in a very distant past. The following conversation between you and a woman is in the profile:

You:  anee ra׳ev אֲנִי רָעֵב
          (I'm famished). How's about reaching for me that apple, bubbeleh?

Woman:  We're not supposed to.

You: Awww. C'mon.  Who could it hurt? 

_________________________________________
Thanks for visiting PastLivesAreUs.Org.

We always say: "You'll keep coming back until you get it right."