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| 1. | Start out in the front yard going EAST toward the other side of the street. | 0.00001 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 2. | Hear something in the backyard, stop, pause, and turn LEFT under the gate to slink under the hemlock. | 0.0009 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 3. | Spot a chipmunk and Turn RIGHT onto a big root behind the cherry tree. | 0.00006 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 4. | Keep LEFT at the (plastic) fork in the grass, stop without warning, and roll around in something. | 0.0001 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 5. | Keep circling the fork hissing at the dog next door, but not really meaning anything by it. | 0.000 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 6. | Pounce on the chipmunk near the fork when he least expects it; then let him go when the master runs outside in his scivvies, clapping his hands loudly screaming all the while: "drop it! drop it NOW!" | 0.0001 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 7. | Run next door, turn slightly RIGHT, and slither under a car, stopping first to drink from a pool of rainwater in the driveway. For no reason whatsoever, let out an other-worldly moan, repeating loudly and often so as to trigger in even those who have reached Nirvana an uncontrollable desire to strangle you. | 0.0002 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 8. | Escape to the other neighbor's yard by galloping to the LEFT when someone throws a shoe out a kitchen window landing just inches from your head. | 0.0001 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 9. | Turn RIGHT into the garden and lie down on the strawberries, crushing them with your girth. | 0.000 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 10. | Study the bird whining incessantly like a crazed cardinal on the branch above and jump UP onto the fence to get a closer look (thereby giving a squirrel a near-coronary, and encouraging a row of starlings to flutter away in 19 different directions). It is, in fact, a cardinal, and he is crazed. | 0.0000 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 11. | Dart LEFT back to your house when the automatic lawn sprinkler sprays your paws with a fine mist. | 0.0001 mi | Map | Avoid |
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| 12. | Your favorite spot on the chair in the sun on the patio is on the RIGHT. |
| Map | Avoid |
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Favorite Spot on Chair in the Sun on the Patio.
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