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Even before the theory of evolution made discussion of more animal-like human ancestors commonplace, philosophical and scientific speculation casting doubt on the use of early language has been frequent throughout history. Prior to the invention of language, debate about the origin of language itself was raucous and robust. It was also bizarre, and, frankly, surreal given as it occurred prior to the invention of any vehicle for conveying complex and abstract thought. One commentator has referred to it as "Flinstonian." [note 1].

In modern Western Philosophy, for example, speculation by authors such as Thomas Hobbes, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, and Paris Hilton led to the Académie Française declaring the subject off-limits. Indeed, the Académie was so scandalized by some of Hilton's pronouncements about language (or, as the French say, "tongue") that its Board of Governors asked her to change her name to "London." Having fainted with exhaustion and umbrage at the Board's suggestion, she was rushed to the Emergency Room of a hospital in St. Tropez, whereupon a doctor, in a display of Gallic pique, promptly asked her in heavily-accented English to "stick out her language."

The origin of language is of great interest to philosophers because language is such an essential characteristic of human life; plus, it's hard for philosophers (e.g. Paris Hilton) to make a living without it. In classical Greek philosophy, such inquiry was approached by considering the nature of things, in this case "human nature." Others considered the nature of humans, or "thing nature." Aristotle, for example, treated humans as things with reason and language by their intrinsic ("thing") nature, related to their natural propensities to be "political," and dwell either in city-state communities ("Polis")or suburban gated communities ("The Grove at Boynton Beach"). He preferred the latter, as he just loved bantering with the old man in the guardhouse and making a show of announcing his name. "I am Aristotle," he would say with a flourish. "I'm here to see Mr. and Mrs. Great [as in Alexander]. I should be on the list."

Hobbes, followed by John Locke and others, claimed that language is an extension of the "speech" which humans have within themselves, which in a sense takes the classical view that reason is one of the most primary characteristics of thing nature. Hobbes referred often to the "nagging little voices ringing in the ear to such extent that one would like to throttle them and then throw them on a funeral pyre while dancing a jig of exorcism on their grave, except that you can't get at them, like a seed stuck at the back of your teeth, so they must be endured stoically." [note 2] Others have argued the opposite - that reason developed out of the need for more complex communication (human nature).

Rousseau, despite writing before the publication of Darwin's theory of evolution, claimed that there had once been humans who had no language or reason and who developed language first—rather than reason—the development of which he explicitly described as having neither the characteristics of "human nature" nor of "thing nature." He dubbed it: "Nature nature." Darwin, in his unpublished Origin of Specious Arguments, thought this a "fine specimen of duncery."

In more recent times, a theory of mirror neurons has emerged in relation to language. Ramachandran [note 3] has gone so far as to claim that "mirror neurons will do for psychology what DNA did for biology. I'm not kidding!" Ramadan-McDonalds, however, has written that the opposite is true, and vice versa. The Jewish sage known as the Rambam, writing in 13th Century Palestine, pre-saged the debate in his moral light verse riddle: "Mirror, mirror on the wall/Who is neurotic most of all?" The theme was echoed approximately 700 years later by the philosopher Ram Dass (nee, Richard Alpert -- a distant cousin of Herb's) in his definitive: I am a Ramblin' Ram; A Ramblin' Ram am I, which explores the interrelatedness between mirrors, neurons, palindromes, and migraine headaches. [note 4] It has become required reading for many professional athletes, including, especially, the starting lineup of the 2006 St. Louis Rams of the National Football League following an attempt by some in Congress to ram through legislation mandating studies of post-concussion syndrome among players of contact sports.

Mirror neurons are located in the human inferior frontal cortex and superior parietal lobe, and are unique in that they are fired when completing an action and also when witnessing an actor performing the same action. This happens with such frequency that both the National Labor Relations Board and the Screen Actors Guild have convened hearings to determine whether mirror neurons have been systemic victims of union-busting in the brain.

Various studies have proposed a theory of mirror neurons related to language development. [note 5]. No one understands these studies which is, of course, ironic, and is also why the federal government keeps funding them.

Theories on the origin of language and language diffusion have emanated from sources as diverse as the Genesis story of the Tower of Babel to that old saw about mirror neurons. Ever since the first pre-historic cave dweller cried out "errrrshellekrap!" [note 6] after being hit on the head by a falling coconut, language has differentiated humans, and defined them. It is their past, present, and future, and everything in between. Perhaps Marie Curie summed it up best in 1907. When gazing on a test tube full of syllables representing a sample from every then-known language, she exclaimed: "You are my density!" [note 7].


End Notes

Note 1: That commentator is Yours Truly, and the place where I made the reference is the passage you just read. Thanks for coming down here to the end note. It's kinda quiet, and we don't get much visitors around here, so it's always nice when folks can stop in and chat for a spell. Would you like a warm-up on that coffee?


Note 2: Oh, hello again. The usual?

Note 3: Look, if you're not going to order something, ok, fine. But we close in 23 minutes.

Note 4: See, also, Mann, Barry, Goffin, Gerry CBS Records (1961): "Who put the ram In the rama lama ding dong?"

Note 5: The ramifications of this are profound and lucrative, especially for those who study mirror neurons professionally.

Note 6: Posited by G. Rampithicus to mean, roughly, "Jesus H. Christ!" See, Rampithicus, G., Oxford University Press 1999: "errrrshellekrap," Primoris Expletive Homo

Note 7: She was, after all, a chemist, not a linguist.

Notes 8-1,000,000,000,000,000,000 (Reserved).