A Few Excerpts from the Apocryphal Book of BBB

1: And an angel trying a little too hard to get his wings spake unto Benjamin ben Benjamin (Ben ben Ben), saying,
2: Speak unto the children of The Valley of the Bubbahim, and say unto them, I am an angel trying a little too hard to get his wings, an authorized representative of on High.
3: After the doings of the land of that other place which shall remain nameless, wherein ye dwelt, shall ye not do: and after the doings of the land of another place which does, in fact, have a name, but it escapes me at the moment, whither I bring you, shall ye not do: neither shall ye walk in their ordinances.
4: Ye shall do my judgments, and keep mine ordinances, to walk therein: I am an angel trying a little too hard to get his wings, an authorized representative of on High.
5: Ye shall therefore keep my statutes, and my judgments: which if a man do, he shall live in them: I am an angel trying a little too hard to get his wings.
6: Six years thou shalt sow thy field, and six years thou shalt prune thy vineyard, and gather in the fruit thereof;
7: I'm supposed to say that the seventh year shall be a sabbath of rest unto the land, except that six years of sowing the field and six years of pruning actually equals 12 years, which explaineth why the Lunar calendar never aligns well.
8: And the sabbath of the land shall be meat for you; for thee, and for thy servant, and for thy maid, and for thy hired servant, and for thy stranger that sojourneth with thee, but that's it. Nobody else is getting any meat.
9: And thou shalt number seven sabbaths of years unto thee, seven times seven years; and the space of the seven sabbaths of years shall be unto thee forty and nine ...hold it -- "7 unto thee.. 7 x 7 years, move the decimal one place and carry the sabbath...dum, dum, dum...Yeah, that's right -- 49 years.
10: And ye shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof: it shall be a jubile unto you; and ye shall return every man unto his possession, and ye shall return every man unto his family, and also any ovedue library books which ye have been hoarding shall ye return, although after 50 years, ye should be able to take advantage of a little amnesty, no?
11: For it is the jubile; it shall be holy unto you: ye shall eat the increase thereof out of the field (everybody else, of course, will be eating meat, but what the hey?)
12: And another thing: Notwithstanding the cities of the Levites, and the houses of the cities of their possession, may the Levites redeem at any time. And if a man purchase of the Levites, then the house that was sold, and the city of his possession, shall go out in the year of jubile: for the houses of the cities of the Levites are their possession among you folks. But the field of the suburbs of their cities may not be sold; for it is their perpetual possession, unless, of course, they build a light rail line, in which case, of course, all bets are off.
13 BTW, have I mentioned that I am an angel trying a little too hard to get his wings, an authorized representative of on High?