The People Are So Hungry for Change, They Could Eat a Dime.

IN THE COURT OF PUBIC OPINION

MIDDLE-EASTERN DIVISION

Civil Action Number 11-02-01-SHS

____________________________________________

THE PEOPLE

Plaintiff,

v.

THE STABLISHED ORDER

Defendant.

___________________________________________

VERIFIED COMPLAINT AND JURY DEMAND

Parties

1.     The Plaintiff, the People, a/k/a the "Body Politic" (hereinafter, the "People"), can be found wherever fine products are sold.

2.     The defendant, the Stablished Order (hereinafter,  "SO?"), is, upon information and belief, always throwing cold water on things, although, it means well.

Jurisdiction and Venue

3.     This Court has subject matter jurisdiction over this matter, as it does every matter.

4.      Insofar as venue is concerned, ditto.

Factual Statement

5.     On or about the date in question, the People were on the pavement, thinkin' about the government.

6.     Suddenly, and without warning (hence "suddenly"), SO?, disguised as a man in a trench coat, badge out, laid off,  said he got a bad cough and wanted to get it paid off.

7.     The people said, "This shall not stand."

8.     SO?,  aforesaid,  said, "Sad, sad, sad.  This is all very sad."

Statement of Claims

Count I

(Breach of Confidence)

9.      The People restate, re-allege, and incorporate herein by reference all previous paragraphs of this Verified Complaint.

10.      The People are restless and have no confidence in anything anymore, except for the Weather Channel, whose predictions have been spot on as of late.

11.     SO? knew, or shouldda known that this would happen.

12.   As a result thereof, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Count II

(Confidence Game)

13.    The People restate, re-allege, and incorporate herein by reference all previous paragraphs of this Verified Complaint, except for the one that says "ditto."

14.    Ditto.

15.     SO? what ('ll it be)?

16.     What will be.

17.    Que sera, sera.

18.    All in violation of 18 U.S.C sec. 11; 23 U.C.L.A. 42, and 5 U.C.I.T.O.L.D.U.S.O. 22.

19.    As a result thereof, those who fail to learn from history will have to take it again next year. 

PRAYERS FOR RELIEF

WHEREFORE, the People pray that this Honorable Court grant the following relief:

(a) Enter one or more orders against the defendant and its fellow-travelers enjoining and restraining them all from business as usual until further Order of the Court;

(b) Enter one or more orders against the defendant mandating that the seltzer available from sympathizers and on-lookers alike, as well as that sprayed from fire hoses, be only of the finest quality and grade (but not light, sweet crude!), and not flavored with fake chemical lemon crap (that so ruins the experience);

(c) Enter judgment for the People and against the defendant  (we prefer small denominations in unmarked bills, please, and none that have some schmendrick's locker combination written on the corner in blue ink);

(d) Enter such other further relief as this Court, in its infinite wisdom and grandiosity, deems equitable and just.

JURY DEMAND

     The People demand a trial by jury on all counts so triable.  On all other counts, please text your decision to 1-800-Idol-4 (a small charge of $3.57/minute will apply).

                                                                                              

                                                            THE PEOPLE,

                                                             By their Attorneys,

                                                                                        

                                                             Mandelbaum, O'Reilly & O'Bama, LLP

                                                             123 Whatarewefightingfor Lane

                                                             Noseyville, Noseyland

VERIFICATION

     We, the People, in order to form a more perfect union, promote the general welfare, and provide for the common defense, do hereby declare that all that is, is, and all that is not, is not, and this Complaint makes about as much sense as anything else we've seen.

 

  Signed under pain of having to sit through an entire performance of "Riverdance" if we're not telling it like it is.

                                                                                           _________________                                                                                              The People

                                                                                             

Letter From a Put-Out Burglar

I broke into your house 2-day.  I wuz shocked to find it so messy. Dishes everywhere.  Klothes in the sink.  How do U live like this (I wunder?).  I am a common house thief and yet not so messy as U are.  On the back of this note, I rote down the number of the Midey-Tidey Cleaners that most of yor neighbors use.  Heres a tip.  Call them quick.

While I wuz going thru your old CDs I found a "Frank Sinatra Greatest Hits" which I like a lot but when I opened up the cover there was no CD in there which is to be expected for a slob like you I suppose. I opened up an old Miles Davis CD and (surprise!) there wuz some kind of crazy Alvin & the Chipmunks tape from 100 years ago. Miles Davis wuz nowhere to be found. Prob. under the klothes in the sink! (Ha! Ha!  just joking!) I also found an old Sonny Rollins CD (loose -- no protective cover) under a magazine, but when I tried to play it, yor stupid player was making gurgling noises like sumbody throwing up underwater and anyways the CD was all scratched and sounded like a cat in heat.

Speaking of which yor big fat ornge cat was sprawled all over the counters and took up like haf of the room and he just wouldnt shut up. He was crying really loud like something being run over by a big truck. I tried to throw him outside but he wuz 2 fat and weighed 2 much and I couldnt pick him up. With all that raket it made it really hard to do my work.  How do U stand it? I guess he wanted to be fed as all his bowls were empty and he had no water etc. I looked in every cupboard in the joint and there wuznt even 1 scrap of cat food in there. There wuz sum krackers and about 29 cartons of chicken broth. R U planning to feed a fire house but not the cat? Thats animal krewlty.

Oh yeah. While I wuz there the doorbel rung and i seen that it was the mailman so I opened the door and he ast me to sign a certified letter 4 U and I signed it as a curtsey to U and left it on the counter in the kitchen next to whatever U had for dinner last week. Its a pretty thick letter and U cant miss it.  It looks like U R being sued by sumbody but I am not so crass as to pry into other peeples mail and I dint read it but I did hold it up to the lite and I think U R being sued but dont worry I dint steem it open becuz frankly I dont think yor stove works 2 good so i cudnt steem it open.


I ansered the phone 2 becuz it kept ringing and driving me batty. Yor medications are reddy 4 pickup and U owe sum collection agency for sum unpaid parking tix or sumthing. (i rote down the number on this note). Also I pretended to be U and took a breef phone servey 4 U. I sed how much U would like to reseeve dried meat in a box delivered to yor house evry month. Dont even thank me becuz you dont know who I am but yor welcome. U'll be billed later. 

You dint rilly have no "valubules" wurth riting home about. The onliest thing I rilly took was a can opener and some stamps. Prob. not worth anything, but I has to have sumthing to shew for my time.

Well I wont soon be back as U R not worth the trubble. But i hope U clean up yor act for the sake of the next guy who comes along.


If i wuz U, id think about getting the lock on the front door fixed.

A Few Interesting Cultural Facts Culled From Wikipedia

The famous American jazz trumpeter, Miles Davis, was actually born in Sweden, and for the first eight years of his life, he was known as "Kilometers," until his parents moved back to Harlem and changed his name because he was getting into fights at school. Were it not for this accident of geography, some of the most popular records issued by Columbia might have had such names as: "Kilometers Ahead," "Kilometerstones," "1958 Kilometers," and, of course "Kilometers Smiles."


As of August 12, 2009, the Earth's population is estimated by the United States Census Bureau to be 6.777 billion (none of whom follow this blog). Despite the astronomically large number of inhabitants on the Earth, if everyone stood very close to each other (after bathing thoroughly first), the entire population of the planet could fit inside the New York City subway system (except for the guy who says: "We apologize for the delay.").


Marketing studies demonstrate consistently that Americans feel intellectually inferior to the British. Accordingly, sales reports confirm that Americans will purchase anything advertised on television provided that the voiceover has a fake British accent. The same holds true for televised amateur hour: No matter how ridiculous and ignorant the judge’s opinion, it will be widely accepted by an American audience provided it is rendered in British-accented English.


Maimonides was the fist person to say "Oy vey," (in 1359 C.E.) after having a dream that Leonard Nemoy would one day play his “voice” in an animated program about his life. (“I was holding out for William Shatner,” he wrote in an obscure footnote in tractate Pesahim from the Mishnah Torah.)


Approximately 3,000 miles separate China's western region from its east coast, yet it has only one time zone, known as "Happy Fun Time."

Mary Cassat, the great American painter, was noted for painting portraits of intimate bonds between mothers and children. Yet, she is reported to have confided in her friend, the impressionist, Edgar Degas, “I hate my kids.”

Massachusetts is home to the oldest pothole in the United States, Ye Olde Newton Centre Car-Wrecker, first appearing in 1722, and lovingly ignored by 23 successive mayoral administrations.